In a recent conversation I had with Brett Bernstein, CEO and co‑founder of XML Financial Group, we dug into what it takes to build a people‑centered, “brainy” business — one that leans on human expertise, resists commoditization, and continues to thrive even as it scales. Brett’s story is practical, honest and full of useful lessons for founders, leaders and advisers who want to build organizations AI can’t replace.
The origin story: why XML was born
Brett and his partners left Merrill Lynch in 2004 with two big convictions: (1) they wanted to be entrepreneurial, and (2) they wanted to deliver advice and service that wasn’t hamstrung by conflicts of interest or the overhead structures of large wirehouses. The name XML? A cheeky nod to “ex‑Merrill Lynch” rendered as bold Roman numerals — and, as Brett laughed, the numerals even pointed to an IRS tax code about asset acquisition. The point was symbolic: bold, independent, and a little ironic.
They started small — a tight team serving mass‑affluent to high‑net‑worth clients who needed real financial planning, emotional guidance and independent investment advice (not corporate investment banking or pay‑to‑play product placements). The model: build a firm that only charged clients for what they actually needed and always put the client’s interest first.
People first: independence, trust and client focus
Brett describes his ideal client as someone who needs thoughtful planning, emotional support during life transitions, and independent investment strategy — but not the bells and whistles of large bank corporate services. Being independent meant XML could choose planning software, investment managers and processes without influence from a research or investment banking arm. That freedom, he says, directly improved client outcomes.
“If you can be replaced, then either you’re not adding the value or you have the wrong client.”
Growth by design: from organic build to M&A acceleration
XML grew the old fashioned way: listening to clients and replicating what worked. But when Brett and the partners reached a crossroads in 2016 — keep the firm as a lifestyle practice or turbocharge growth — they chose to scale. They partnered with Focus Financial Partners to accelerate mergers and acquisitions while retaining operational independence. The result: XML moved from roughly $500M in client assets to nearly $4B, while expanding from a handful of people to more than 50 full‑time staff across multiple locations.
How Brett approached M&A
Prioritize talent, not just assets. Brett looks for teams that add depth.
Listen first. Understand what made the acquired firm successful before prescribing change.
Respect culture. Integrate via committees and cross‑firm collaboration rather than forceful mandates.
Make non‑negotiables clear. Compliance, CRM and security often require standardization; other processes can adapt through education and collaboration.
Building a legacy, not a lifestyle practice
From day one Brett and his partners wanted XML to outlive any single leader. That meant designing a company that could be passed on — not tied to one charismatic founder. Concrete practices reinforced this vision:
Equity is available broadly. Today there are multiple equity partners representing different roles and genders — a deliberate move to put “money where our mouth is.”
Open door and mentorship. People are encouraged to say what they want in their careers; if the firm can help them grow personally, professionally and financially, it will.
Focus on retention and wellness. Happiness and productivity are connected — happier employees serve clients better and stay longer.
“I want every person who comes to XML to be able to retire at XML.”
Culture in practice: small gestures, big impact
Culture isn’t a slide deck you install — it’s a lived experience. Brett shared simple stories that illustrate this: taking down a well‑meaning “swearing jar” after acquisitions that felt juvenile, and recognizing when flexibility (hybrid work) is more valuable than forcing everyone back to an office. Small signals — respect, trust, and setting clear expectations — compound into dramatically better wellness and performance. One new hire even reported better sleep and lower stress in his first week because the culture fit him so well.
Measure the right things: a bottom‑up approach to KPIs
Brett believes measurement works best when it starts with people. Rather than dictating corporate targets from the top, he asks every team member to map personal and professional goals (CFP, MBA, client acquisition, life milestones). From those individual goals he builds the firm budget and KPIs — so company objectives align with what people are trying to achieve.
Make goals specific and trackable: did you get your CFP? Did you bring in 10 clients?
Connect firm success to individual success: company outcomes should support personal development.
Use accountability and shared incentives: benefits and rewards are often tied to firmwide performance.
Leading while producing: the CEO who still advises
Brett continues to be a practicing adviser. He insists this keeps him grounded: “I can’t properly lead if I’m not doing the actual job we’re all about.” That dual role is demanding and requires a team that supports the leader, but it brings credibility and keeps the CEO “in the weeds” of client work, making strategy and product decisions much more informed.
Weathering the low moments
Growth and success don’t eliminate hard days. Markets fall, clients leave, and personal health problems can take a toll. Brett shared how those moments used to hit him harder when he was younger. Over time he learned to take setbacks as lessons, reflect and adapt. For him, the controllables are how the firm communicates with clients and how the team responds during volatility.
AI and the human advantage
Brett is pragmatic about automation and AI: it will make many things more efficient and will change jobs, but it can’t replace human empathy in moments that matter. You won’t get the same comfort and judgment from an algorithm after a loved one dies, or in nuanced life‑planning conversations.
“AI is the wave of the future and is going to make some jobs obsolete. But if your advisory services can be replaced by AI, you probably chose the wrong business.”
He recommends embracing AI where it adds efficiency, while doubling down on human‑centered services that require judgment, empathy and relationship building.
Practical checklist for founders who want to build a people‑centered, AI‑resistant business
Start with who you want to serve. Design products and pricing around real client needs, not firm conveniences.
Make independence meaningful. Remove conflicts of interest and choose tools that serve client outcomes.
Hire for talent and culture fit — prioritize people who add depth, not just assets.
Listen first during integrations. Create collaborative committees so acquired teams have voice and ownership.
Share equity and create clear career paths so people can grow into leadership without leaving.
Use a bottom‑up KPI process that ties personal goals to firm objectives.
Embrace AI for efficiency but protect the human moments that define your value.
Communicate. Pick up the phone. Solve problems with real conversation, not only chat or email.
What’s next for XML — and how to connect
XML aims to continue growing thoughtfully: hitting $5B and moving toward $10B in client assets through a blend of strategic M&A and organic growth — but always with the “right people” and the same cultural thread. Brett also plans to enjoy more travel and family time as his daughters leave the nest, while keeping fitness and health a priority after long struggles with surgeries.
If you’re an adviser considering a partnership or a client who wants to learn more, Brett suggests visiting xmlfg.com or emailing him directly at brett@xmlfg.com.
Final thought
Building a business that lasts is not about the latest tech gimmick or a culture deck you paste over existing behavior. It’s about committed leadership that listens, a company structure that rewards people for staying and growing, and a relentless focus on human experiences that technology can enhance — but not replace. If you’re building a firm in any industry, start there.
Get In Touch With Brett Bernstein
Geoffrey can be reached through his Linkedin account. To find out more about Frontline Performance Group, visit their website.
This article was created from the video How to Build a Sustainable Business that AI Can’t Beat.
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